


Between Truth and Lies

by Hope_Magnolia



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Birthday Blues, Character Death, Confessions, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Secrets, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 03:24:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11454966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hope_Magnolia/pseuds/Hope_Magnolia
Summary: After failed attempts to reach Gotoh, Killua calls Canary for help with finding him. He has heartfelt messages for both butlers - especially Gotoh. With years of separation between them, calling now is the least Killua can do to demonstrate his affection. That is, of course, only if Gotoh will answer the phone.





	Between Truth and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> A (my very first!) drabble based on my Killua, Gotoh, and Canary head canons. I’m considering expanding this if/when I have time to really flesh it out. Please let me know if that sounds interesting!  
> Do you tumbl? Let's be tumblr friends! https://mowedith.tumblr.com 
> 
>  
> 
> Happy(?) birthday, Killua.

He’s thought about this a lot. He runs through it again before making the call.

  
_Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? I don’t want to miss my chance to tell you something. It’s sappy and dumb but just hear me out._

_Y’know, I think you gave me the only humane memories from my childhood._  
_Wrapping me in just *one more* scarf before letting me play in the snow._  
_Teaching me how to tie a bowtie for those stupid formal meals._  
_Pretending to fall asleep so you would carry me to my room and tuck me in_  
_Knowing you always would._  
_Those goofy voices you made up and used to read stories to me at night._  
_Chasing me through the yard with a bottle of sunscreen._  
_Those lame coin games we used to play._  
_Smoothing my hair down when you thought I was sleeping._  
_You remember, right?_  
_And then you made saving my best friend’s life possible._  
_So in case I haven’t said this out loud before, thank you._  
_Thank you so much._

* * *

 

  
“… Canary?”

  
She barely recognizes the deep voice on the other end of the line. “Master Killua…” she answers on the edge of a whisper.

  
He releases the tension in his gut and swallows. “I was afraid you wouldn’t pick up. We’re on the move so I don’t have much time.”

  
“Yes, I assumed.”

  
Killua hesitates and takes a breath to replenish his courage. “Alluka, Nanika, and I have been talking about the few good memories we have from home. You are definitely one of them for us – well, almost the only one – and, uh, I want to say thank you for that. I think it’s important for you to know now. For you to hear me say it. So.” He trails off and quietly clears his throat.

  
“… is something going to happen? Are you in danger?” she asks carefully.

  
“No! Uh, no, we’re fine. I kind of can’t help but think of family today, y’know?” A few strained laughs fall from his mouth as his voice reduces to a familiar grumble. “Alluka said I should call so… uh, sorry I probably sound weird and stupid.”

  
“Not at all. This is unusually sentimental coming from you, though.” Canary’s smile warms her words. “It’s been a long time. I’m glad you called. Happy birthday, Master Killua.”

  
“Yeah, yeah, you can blame the girls for this mushy shit,” he mutters fondly. “And seriously, will you let go of this ‘master’ thing already? It’s annoying.”

  
Her gentle laughter tickles Killua’s ears. “Got it. Since it’s your day.”

  
“Good,” he teases through a grin. “Since it is my birthday, will you find Gotoh and give him the phone? That idiot won’t answer my calls and there’s something important I’ve been meaning to tell him.”

  
Her breath stills. She remembers her lines. “He’s unable to talk at the moment. Why don’t I take a message?”

  
“A message? Canary, come on, it’s been two years since we’ve talked. Just put him on.”

  
She holds her composure with white knuckles. “Won’t a message suffice? You’re in a hurry, right?” she recites.

  
“Yeah but it’s personal… childhood stuff. I gotta hear his voice, okay?” He mumbles, practically swallowing the end of his sentence. “Jeeze, way to make this harder on me than it already is.”

  
_you gave me the only humane memories_

  
“I understand, but Gotoh is unable to talk right now.” She knows it would be nearly impossible for the Kiriko's son to blindly wade through Gotoh’s memories and deliver a convincing impersonation. They need to regroup and think of something to distract Killua. Her pulse sloshes through her head. She wonders how much longer she can endure this.

  
“Can’t you give me a break, here? If you tell him it’s me I’m sure he’ll spare a fucking second.”

  
_you remember, right?_

  
…

  
“Well? Is he ‘out’ or something? Do butlers ‘go out’ now?”

  
Cruel tension wrings Canary’s lungs inside her chest. “No.”

  
Killua presses her. “Can you at least tell me when I can call back?”

  
_I don’t want to miss my chance to tell you_

  
…

  
She grits her teeth to stop her lips from trembling.

  
Unnerved by her silence, his jaw tightens. “Okay, what the hell is going on? Where is Gotoh?”

  
_thank you_

  
Her unsteady breathing comes through the line. “Canary. What’s wrong?”

  
Her words bubble up, scattered through tears. “H-he’s not here… ne-ver was, I-”

  
Killua has never heard her cry like this. Her heartbreaking gasps disorient him. “What? Canary, hey, just tell me what happened. You can tell me, okay?”

  
_thank you._

  
“He’s gone. Killua, he’s been – gone and I– ’m sorry. I’m so s-sorry I coul– dn’t – tell you.”

 

Killua's body seized. He said nothing. After the ringing in his ears faded, he heard nothing. Through painfully wide eyes, he saw nothing. Grief had sunk its hand into the base of Killua’s neck and crushed his throat until shallow inhales burned. Until it deadened all his senses.

  
Killua felt his consciousness drip down from behind his eyes and pool into the bottom of his skull like ink.

  
And he was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
